standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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