Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
