Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
