Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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