What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
