I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
