Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
