I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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