He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
