You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
