i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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