My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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