I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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