Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This gyro tastes like lonliness
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
