Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize