do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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