I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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