You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
