Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
