Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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