I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
