We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize