Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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