the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
