get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm at about main and main street
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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