Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
