Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
as a side note pls kill me
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