nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
