didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
