Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
