with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I have demons in me.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
