Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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