were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
