I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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