? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize