wat bout pragnant strippers??
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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