so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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