oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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