Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize