If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
