think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
