the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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