you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
