I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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