i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
