it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
