Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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