so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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