I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
