So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
