I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
