Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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