thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
