You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
