before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize