We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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