dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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