fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the day after is always just damage control
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
