how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
