Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
