this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
