Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
