Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
